I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
