Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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