Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
