A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
tell me about the eggs
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
