i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
