Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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