I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
