so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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