So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
