i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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