After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
