oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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