Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
