i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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