I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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