both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Pooping to opera.
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