help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
bring money and cleavage
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
