in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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