sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
