i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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