Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
