just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
