My friends, they love my intelligence
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
