I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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