forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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