i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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