Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
