just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
