i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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