Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
