NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
