This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
