I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
