He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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