so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
