Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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