He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
