this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize