im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
