Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I need a beard to bite.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
