you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
