girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
