I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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