I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
