just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
