I didn't shave. On purpose
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
