I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
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