im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
