Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i've created a new STD.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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