her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
