Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
