I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
