wrigley field is MILF paradise
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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