I wanna bring you to show and tell
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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