Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
