The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
