I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
