I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize