wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
