I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
