Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
