oh god the rape fog is back!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
