Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
