You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
