I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
