If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i've created a new STD.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
