nut hugger
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
