It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
